+ Lutheran is Not Another Word for Catholic

I hate ignorance. I don't think there are enough words in a variety of languages to express how much I loathe ignorance, but it seems that the ignorance of people, especially certain groups, knows no bounds. Case in point, "Non-denominational" Christians.

Firstly, I'd like to say that I have a lot of non-denominational friends who are all lovely people. I'm talking about the majority, who are stupid. That pretty much applies to everything, though; people are stupid with rare exceptions. By now you should have gathered that when I say something about a group of people I don't mean ALL of them, I just mean it's the trend, so don't e-mail me saying 'but im n0t lyke that ur rong!111'

Anyway, my first example comes from personal experience. Last year I was in History class and was pleading with my teacher to not give us a test the day after Easter, and was chronicling for him my week, which began Palm Sunday and ended with two services on Easter, including a Sunrise service, for which I had to rise at about 4 am. I think I mentioned Lent and one idiot felt the need to comment on my religion. Like a true non-denomination Christian, one guy blurted out 'what are you, Catholic?' because obviously people who go to church more than once a week and have seasons of the church year are Catholic.

The latest encounter with idiocy happened not to me, but to my younger brother, Mike. Mike is a good example of somebody who knows his shit, so when he says something about his own religion, people would be wise to believe him. He was, unfortunately, barraged with idiocy after the Pope died. He says on the subject: "Since the Pope died, everyone's like "You're Catholic aren't you?" to which I say "No, douschbag, I'm Lutheran," to which they say, "they're the same thing." It annoys me beyond all belief."Now, let's review the history of Lutheranism and Catholicism for clarity's sake. Lutheranism was formed by followers of Martin Luther after the Reformation. Luther objected to the Roman Catholic church's gross abuse of an illiterate Europe by selling them indulgences, or passes out of Purgatory and into Heaven. Catholics believe in grace by works, Lutherans, because of Luther's studies of the Bible and non-dumbassness, believes that, as the Bible says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, but are justified freely by his grace." (Romans 3:23) That's a pretty big difference, I'd say. Aside from that fact, Catholics also believe in transubstantiation (that the bread and wine in Communion turn into the actual body and blood of Christ), Mary's perpetual virginity throughout her life, not to mention the fact that Catholics believe in Purgatory and Lutherans don't, and so forth. If you're still stupid enough to believe that Lutherans and Catholics are the same, go stick your head in a toilet and flush.

The funny thing is, most people would take it as the truth when it comes straight from the horse's mouth, but not non-denominational Christians. They think that they're right about everything, including other denominations, which they know nothing about (because they know nothing in general). Who would know better than a Lutheran what a Lutheran believes? That's like a white guy saying he knows more about being black than a black guy. You aren't, therefore, you know nothing. If you asked a Catholic if their religion was the same as Lutheran, they'd probably get very offended and hit you with a holy grail or something. Luther was somewhat of a rogue in his day, and there are still some hard feelings there, I'm sure. Obviously, if you were Italian and somebody decided you looked more Greek, and because they thought it, it made you that, you would be pissed too.

What do non-denominationalists know anyway? The whole idea of the church is less structure and more 'movement by the spirit' but you know what? They meet in a building, they sing songs, they read from the Bible, they have a sermon. Wow, what a coincidence; Catholics do those things too. Going on their description, they're Catholic too! Obviously, everything that looks the same on the surface is the same, right? Morons. Their whole name is an oxymoron on top of it. By the fact that they named themselves as non-denominational, they became a denomination. Once you have a name and a certain creed (which they obviously have, even if it is blatantly moronic in that it denotes having no denomination) you are, by definition of denomination. A denomination is "a large group of religious congregations united under a common faith and name." Wow, non-denominationalists have a name and a common belief... they must be a denomination. But wait, they claim to have none, so that makes the liars and stupid anyway.

So what do we have? We know that Catholics and Lutherans are not even close to the same, and that "non-denominational" Christians are idiots. But I knew that, maybe because I am at least smart enough to realize that everybody unless they don't hail ANY name at all, is part of a denomination. Man, I love being right. If you disagree: bite me.

Get me out of here!