+ You're Rude: Bite Me

Man, I came to the realization that most people who hang out online are annoying, spoiled retards. I am so sick of morons online bombarding me with idiocy day and night. I can't even escape it. I spend a lot of time online because my job as a webmaster requires me to do so, and I like to talk to my friends or work on my personal sites, like this awesome one right here, but people seem to think my being online is an invitation to annoy me.

Firstly, if there's one thing I hate it's people getting online and sending me an instant message and then not saying anything else. I usually have 2-4 message boxes with actual conversations going on, so nothing pisses me off more online that some idiot messaging me for no reason. A typical conversation with this type of person goes like this:

random idiot: hey
me: hey
random idiot: wats ^?!?!
me: doing something useful, you?
random idiot: kewl, nm


[ten minutes passes]

me: ...hello?

It is so annoying. If you're going to message ME then wake your lazy ass up and say something. The other thing that pisses me off about this is that sometimes you'll get some moron doing this except after the exchanging of supposed pleasantries, they send you a link for you to click.

random idiot: hey, chek out dis site i found! www.imstupid.com
me: go away
random idiot: plz? kthx!
me: I hate you all.

I find it especially fun when somebody ims me and I start a conversation with them and they don't say anything, and then after a while they're like 'I'm busy'. Okay, YOU messaged ME, don't blow me off. If you're busy, don't message me to talk! Don't get online if you're doing homework. Sometimes people message me with something like this:

random idiot: hi!!!
me: hey
random idiot: what're you up to?
me: just chillin'
random idiot: I'm studying for a test, I hope I'm not too stupid to pass, teehee!
me: should you be online?
random idiot: I can multitask


[brief conversation ensues, and then silence for 10-30 minutes]

me: did you die?

I swear, people are so rude online. They e-mail you 15 times to ask you to link them, they send you ims by the dozen because they either have no life or want you to entertain them. I just love it when people message me like 'I'm bored'. What do you want me to do about it? I'm not your mother, you dickhead. That's pretty obnoxious, but probably the second worst annoyance is when you get an e-mail from some dumbass in barely intelligible English asking you about something you did six years ago.

"HEY SSGCHAN I READ UR STORIE BOUT TRUNKZ AND PNA AND I LUV IT SOOOOOO MUCH CAN U PLZ UPDATE CUZ I WULD LYKE TO NO WAT HAPPENZ IN TEH STORIE!!!111"

Here's a hint for you: If I haven't updated it in more than two years, there's a pretty good chance I'm never going to look at it again. Back in the day I had a fairly popular Dragonball Z fanfiction about Juunana-gou and Pan, which was absolute crap, and I STILL get e-mails about it. I haven't worked on that story since I was 15 and I'm 19 now. I removed it from my fanfiction.net profile, I took it out my archives, and as far as I know, it's only up on one site and I don't even know if that site is still fuctional. If people would look at the last time it was updated, maybe they would realize that it's dead. I think my personal favorite, though, was when somebody asked if they could take that story and finish it and slap their name on it, which leads me to my next point: internet plagiarism.

People seem to think that if it's on the internet, it's up for grabs. Even at my school, people who are supposed to be intelligent college students will steal entire papers off the internet and put their names on it, and if you call them on it, they don't even see what's wrong with that. It's called intellectual property theft, people. Those thoughts are mine, I wrote them, or whoever wrote them did, and that means that they are legally the author's. I know that Maddox of The Best Page in the Universe has to put up with people stealing his articles without crediting. Recently, somebody heard his material on the radio and told him about it, and sure enough, the DJ had hocked his material straight off his site. It wasn't even some idiot college student that stole it, it was somebody working in the business world who decided to rip somebody else's material and who really should have known better. I can't tell you how many times I browsed around fanfiction.net and found a story that had a suspiciously similar description to mine or a friend's story.

Here's a newsflash: Just as with anything that doesn't belong to you, if it's not yours, don't take it! Also, if you're not going to say anything, or just want to advertise, don't message me. If you want to e-mail me about checking out your site without so much as an introduction, you can bend over and take it up the ass because I will delete your e-mail so fast you'll feel your dreams rushing down the toilet. If you can't take the time to give me the few other decent people on the internet basic courtesy, you should be stabbed in the eye.

Get me out of here!