+ Quit Bitching, Nobody Cares!

"I'm tired. I'm hungry. I hate this. This is boring. Waahhh!!!" Does this sound familiar? We all know somebody who is like this; the constant complainer. Complainers can easily be picked out in any crowd. They are the person standing or sitting with a huge pout on their face, arms crossed, muttering to themselves or others with a sour expression like they just sniffed dog poop. These are The Complainers. In ever situation, they will always point out the worst possible scenario and bitch about it until everybody around them is ready to shove a mallet up their nose -- wide end first.

Your classic complainer will typically bitch about their personal environment first. This usually includes the constant "I'm hungry/tired" whining. They stand there bitching as if nobody else on the planet is ever tired or hungry. Here's a bit of information for those people: most people don't get the recommended amount of sleep, meaning most people are ALWAYS tired. Those of us with sense and courtesy, however, don't whine about it all the time. We suck it up and do what has to be done. Hell, I'm writing this on less that 5 hours of sleep right now. And about 95% of the world is starving, so next time you bitch about having to wait an hour to stuff your probably already fat face, shut up and think of the people who share a cup of rice between five people as their main meal in any given day.

Another type of complaint we have the misfortune of hearing is the situation whine. "I hate this, I want to go home. School is too boring/too hard/too easy. Church is stupid, I don't want to go." We'll start with school. I have no sympathy for people who bitch about school. I had to go to school too. Everybody in the U.S. has to go to school. This enables some of them to later go on to college and get some job besides flipping burgers or cleaning out some asshole's extravegantly expensive car or house. The people who don't have the privaledge (yes, it IS a privaledge) are the people who work menial jobs for a non-living wage their whole lives, starving and working in dangerous conditions. Think about this: you're 13 years old, your parents buy you everything, you go to school for free, and later your parents will pay for your lazy, unmotivated ass to go to college so you can drink away what few braincells you have. I would much rather take this cake walk over being some 8 year old kid living in Taiwan working in a Nike factory gluing some rich spoiled bitch's shoes together.

Don't you dare even complain to me about church. If you lived in Rome during the peak of its reign, you could have been stoned or whipped to death, or put in an arena to fight to the death with another person or a wild animal that would slowly savor your organs as they slip from your still-warm body, all for daring to speak the name of Christ. Even today, people are beaten, raped, imprisoned, tortured and killed in countries all around the world for gathering in the name of God. You get to drag your butt to church once a week, losing an hour of your oh-so-precious time (that would have otherwise been spent sleeping or drinking anyway), enduring that damn pastor blathering on about salvation again. All I have to say is this: bite me. You don't risk life and limb to believe what you do, so if I hear you complaining about having to give an hour up to church while you still claim to be a Christian (and even if you don't), suck it up. Be thankful that you live in a place where you can worship how and when you choose, and even if you're going because your parents are making you, spend the time being thankful that you're not in Afganistan or Iraq right now where you'd be shot for daring not to pray to Allah.

The final tier of the complete complainer is the personal complainer. On top of complaining that they only got 10 hours of sleep and that they had to sit through a whole hour of church, they complain about the people around them. Your complete complainer will whine about everybody else around them, saying that they're too stupid, too skinny, too fat, too ugly, they don't sing well enough, they don't listen, they don't do anything right, and my personal favorite: they are selfish. Meanwhile, the person complaining is so busy bitching that they don't realize they're bringing everybody around them down. This complaining person has such a high opinion of themselves that they can't see past their own nose to realize that other people have it worse. They are so focused on themselves that they would continue bitching even if you died right there in a spectacular display of squirting blood and convulsing.

This brings me to my next point. I heard somebody say, when confronted about their complaining, that they had to complain or else they would bottle it all up and explode later. That's all well and good that they're trying to prevent an explosion, but the thing that never occurs to them is that if they weren't being so selfish, they wouldn't see only the bad in every situation. It's not the act of complaining so much as the mindset that causes it. So here is my advise: Get your head OUT OF YOUR ASS and stop whining about everything. Chances are, somebody has it worse. I can name five people who have it ten times worse than most people and never complain, and I can name at least thirty that bitch about everything that happens and have very little reason to do so. Next time you think you have it bad enough that you should poison the lives of those around you with your bitching, whining, and general bellyaching, think about all those people who have it so much worse and shut the hell up.

Get me out of here!