+ Who Died and Made You God?

Step off your soapbox already.

Recently I had an unfortunate run-in with a person who felt it was their responsibility to tell me that I am a horrible heathen sinner because I don't make nice with everybody I meet, namely my sister (who, if you met, you would either kill yourself or her). I figured I would write about it to give heed to all the people who have a tendency to do this, and also to offer my condolences to anybody else who had been subjected to these trite arguments.

Firstly, the main thing this person does, and we will call him/her MadCow for ease of reference, is try to assert the fact that they believe themselves to be above you. Madcow will always try to say that 'well, I'm not perfect, but...' meaning "I'm not perfect, but I'm still better than you." This is a psychological ploy that they use to try to make you feel inferior/wrong, so that you will accept what they're saying, and repent of your evil ways. Yeah, like that's going to happen. In response to this, I have only to say, you know what? You're no less of a sinner than I am, so shut up. If you're going to go around claiming you're above sin, perhaps you're the one that should look at the Bible. I believe it's Romans that says: "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God." Not: "For everybody but me as sinned..." You're just as bad as anybody else, so don't pretend you're perfect.

The second thing Madcow and company do is tell you that they know what's going on even if their head is so far up their ass that they can see their own appendix. Usually, these people know one or two facts about what's going on in your life or in the lives of those around you, so they assume they know everything is to know and see fit to stick their butt in where it doesn't belong. My advice for perpetrators of this heinous crime of butting in is, unless you have heard all of the story, both sides of the story, stay out of it. You're only going to look stupid when you realize what happened. Now say you walked in on this situation? A girl is hitting man violently. You would think, oh my God, what is that crazy girl doing? Maybe you walked in five minutes too late late to see him rape her, or at least try to. Such an assumption not only misjudges the people involved, it makes you look like a moronic clod that couldn't shut up long enough to hear both sides of the story. Can you imagine how stupid you would feel if you walked into a robbery in progress and hit the victim because he was a big black guy holding a gun? Maybe you didn't see the little skinny white guy with a knife who was robbing the big black guy's store, hmm? No, these people never consider the fact that there might be more than what they see, because naturally, they're perfect and know everything. Right. When it comes to dealing with other people's issues, check your preconceptions out at the door.

Nextly, they will try to pity you, or accuse you of something untrue. I've gotten 'you're not a Christian' or 'you must be a sad person' or 'you must like partying' because I swear, or because I pity many of the blockheaded people around, or because I have friends who like to party/aren't Christian. They say, oh, I'm so sorry, you must be so lonely/sad/depressed because you're not just like me. How egotistical is that, to assume that people who aren't like you are bad or wrong? Here's a newsflash, moron, this is the stuff racism is built on. Looking down on people that are different from you is where your Hitlers, Mussolinis, and Stalins come from. This is where hate, violence, and genocide begin; it begins with noting differences and saying 'you're different, so you must be wrong or bad'. Good job, Lenin. Why don't you just start a Christian lynch mob and beat up all the heathens? Hymnals are nice and heavy, you could just bludgeon them with those, you bastards. This is why people are afraid to be Christians; because people like you scare them. They think 'well shit, I don't want to be like that person, and if this person is a representitive of Christ, Christ must've been a whacko. Guess I'll go follow Buddha.' Good job, you just eliminated any possibility of conversion. But that's okay, because they're different anyway, right?

Here's a thought: mind your own business. It's not your job to judge people. Isn't God the judge of our sins? Doesn't he keep a record? So now you're God, right? Have you ever read that verse that says: "First remove the plank from your own eye, and then remove the speck from your brother's." If you're a sinner too, your vision is just as blurry, if not more blurry than the other guy. You have a log in your eye, so what makes you think you can take the dust from somebody else's? That would be like a surgeon recovering from eye surgery performing surgery on somebody else's eyes. Until you see the situation perfectly clearly, with the unbiased eyes that only God has, then you can tell me I'm a sinner. When you are perfect, when you are Christ, then you can go ahead and tell me what wrong I'm doing, but until that day, do us all a favor, MadCow, and BUTT OUT!

Get me out of here!